Tuesday, April 12, 2011

collaborative activity

So the Amazing D and I wrote a poem together, each of us taking a turn writing a line. It was fun! We made heavy use of the detective kit.


The tiles are pretty tiny in the photo to get them all in, so here's a transliteration. Think it needs a part 2?

we got some blow from somebody with translucent yellow skin
nothing like a femme fatale near killed by smoke
his giggle created a shiver across my neck
perhaps a needle? he says all business devouring a pie
we are delirious to be in this alley
it smells like small time preachers shooting up
she whispered I want to get free of this repulsive hole
my gun blazed & red sprays on the street
no compromise for me and honey we go
I love our dirty life we are fast and loaded like poison
we make tracks away into the night we dance

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

A part 2 would be most welcome but on the other hand, I think this stands wonderfully on its own. I can't decide if I like the last line or "his giggle created a shiver across my neck" best.

I can't believe you have punctuation marks in your box(es)!! We've been robbed. The closest things to punctuation in our boxes are a couple of ampersands.

Margaret D said...

Love it! I think the Amazing D has found a new hobby!

Margaret D said...

from the lax C:

funny
happy
red
woman

rhino writer said...

Elizabeth: Once again, I have to talk up the detective poetry kit. I think that's where the punctuation came from. Of course, I may have cut up some words to have a useful suffix, but hey.

And lax C: Love the poem!